About Love
by LettieM
Summary: Spock poses a query to Amanda about the nature of romantic love and her reasons for marrying Sarek. Later that evening, Sarek and Amanda discuss Spock's query.


About Love

Disclaimer: Paramound owns the Star Trek universe and its characters. I make no profit other than the joy of imagining the daily lives of these wonderful characters.

Acknowledgement: Special thanks to my beta reader T'Ashalik for her generous support and invaluable advice.

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Spock had just finished reading the final chapter of one of his mother's antique books, _Pride and Prejudice_. Frowning, he rose and walked into the kitchen, knowing his mother could normally be found there preparing the evening meal.

Amanda, wearing her midnight blue "Kiss the Cook" apron, stood at the kitchen counter with her hands deep in a bowl of _kreyla_ dough. Her dark-brown hair was straggling down from the loose knot she had impatiently shoved it into, and there were patches of flour on her nose and chin.

When she saw that her gangly 13-year-old son had come to the kitchen to speak with her, her sapphire eyes lit with pleasure. "Hi, Spock. I'm just making a fresh batch of _kreyla_. Want to help drop them onto the cookie sheets?" she asked, smiling fondly. "You can use that one," she said, waving at one of the cookie sheets, "and I'll drop onto this old one I brought from Earth."

"Mother, that one warps in the heat of the oven," Spock said, placing his mother's book on the table and accepting two spoons from her. "Furthermore, it heats unevenly and _kreyla_ tend to stick and burn on the bottom. It is not logical to continue to use that cookie sheet."

Amanda smiled at her son. "So who says I have to be logical? I have a sentimental attachment to this cookie sheet. I learned to make _kreyla_ for your father using this very one when we first moved here from Earth."

Spock shook his headand continued dropping _kreyla_ dough onto the cookie sheet. Experience had long since taught him that further discussion of any subject was fruitless once his mother asserted her right to be illogical.

Pausing to glance at him, she asked in what she hoped was a casual tone, "So, Spock, how was school today?"

"School was adequate."

"Did you learn anything new and interesting today?"

"Nothing of particular note."

"Those bullies don't still make fun of you, do they?"

Spock's hands paused for a moment, but he refused to meet her glance. "No one teases me any more, Mother. Now they simply ignore me."

Amanda lowered her head. "I see," she said softly.

They worked side by side in silence until they finished and the _kreyla_ were baking in the oven. "Would you like a cup of tea?" she asked, washing her hands.

"That would be acceptable," he replied, taking a seat at the kitchen table and watching as she measured tea into her antique English teapot decorated with yellow roses. "Mother, may I ask you a question?"

"Of course, honey, anything. What's on your mind?"

"There is a particular aspect of human behavior I do not understand."

"Oh, really? What is it about humans you're so curious about?"

"I am attempting to understand the human concept of romantic love."

Amanda looked up in surprise. "Romantic love? Whatever got you interested in that particular subject?"

"I just finished reading one of your antique Earth books."

She walked over to the table with cups of tea for herself and Spock. Handing his cup to him, she sat down at the kitchen table. "Which book did you read?" she asked, gesturing at the book at Spock's elbow. "May I see?"

He handed her the book, and she took it reverently, turning it over to read the title. "_Pride and Prejudice_…it's one of my favorites. What is it about this book you don't understand?"

"The characters in this book go about choosing life partners in a highly illogical manner."

"Well, Spock, these characters are human. Humans don't follow the rules of logic when it comes to choosing a life partner."

"But, Mother, how do you explain your marriage to Father? Whenever I ask Father why he married you, he says it was the logical thing to do. I do not understand. It is not logical for a Vulcan to bond with a human."

She smiled as she cradled her teacup with her hands. "Well, it's hard to explain except to say that love has a logic of its own. I married your father because I love him very much."

She chuckled softly when she saw Spock's left eyebrow rise. "I know, I know. Love is an illogical human emotion. Honestly, sometimes I think your father has managed to convince you that Vulcans don't have emotions. You and I both know that is not true."

Smiling into her son's dark eyes, Amanda lightly touched his hand with hers. "There's no shame in having emotions, honey. It's only natural, even for Vulcans. The important thing is what we do with those emotions. Vulcans study the mental disciplines in order to master their emotions and make decisions on the basis of logic… or so they claim.

"So, why did your father marry an illogical, emotional Human woman? I can tell you, in case you're wondering, that he didn't marry me as some sort of logical diplomatic move to strengthen relations between Vulcans and Humans. Your father and I are bonded in the Vulcan way, and he has named me _aduna_. He may reject the human concept of love as illogical, but I know what is here, in his heart," she said touching Spock's side above the location of the Vulcan heart. "I am content with that."

Seeing the slight frown that remained on Spock's face, Amanda patted her son's hand. "If you have more questions about this, dear, you'll just have to speak with your father."

With that, she rose from the table and carried their mugs to the sink to rinse them out. Seeing that the conversation was at an end, Spock rose and carried the book back to his room, not at all certain that his query to his mother had produced a satisfactory answer.

Later that evening, Amanda sat before her vanity mirror, brushing her shining, dark brown hair, now grown almost to her waist. She grew it long because Sarek liked long hair. But it was annoying trying to find new ways to arrange it in the elaborate up-dos favored by Vulcan women, and at times, like tonight, the sheer weight of it gave her a headache.

Pausing to massage her temples, Amanda reflected on her conversation with her son that afternoon. She became so absorbed in retracing the conversation in her mind, wondering what she might have said differently, she didn't hear the soft footsteps approaching her from behind until two large warm hands came to rest on her shoulders.

Startled by the unexpected contact, she jumped and gasped sharply, her brush flying from her hand and barely missing her husband on its way to the floor. Turning, she glared at him. "I wish you'd stop sneaking up on me like that. You scared the daylights out of me."

Bending to retrieve his wife's brush from the floor, Sarek replied with his usual equanimity, "I did not 'sneak up' on you, my wife. I walked into the room in my normal manner. As you appeared to be lost thought, I saw no need to announce my presence."

Returning to stand behind his bond mate, he began methodically brushing her hair with long, even strokes. Amanda sighed with pleasure. She loved these quiet intimate moments when he brushed her hair, and she knew through their bond that Sarek found the repetitive movements relaxing after a long day of intense concentration on diplomatic affairs.

"May I ask what you were thinking about so intently that you failed to hear my approach?"

She raised her eyes to meet her husband's eyes in the mirror. "I was thinking about a conversation I had with Spock this afternoon."

"Oh? Please elucidate."

"He came into the kitchen when I was preparing _kreyla_ dough and told me he was trying to understand the human concept of romantic love."

Her husband's hand stilled. "Romantic love? Surely he is too young to occupy his mind with such things."

Amanda turned on her vanity bench to face him. "Maybe by Vulcan standards, but he is my child too. Have you really looked at him lately? He's entering puberty at an earlier age than most Vulcan children. The surge of hormones he's experiencing is intensifying his emotions and forcing him to confront the human half of his nature. And for human kids his age, a major part of that nature is interest in the opposite sex and curiosity about male-female relations."

"What exactly did he say?"

"He had been reading my antique edition of _Pride and Prejudice_. He commented to me that the characters in that book chose their life partners in an illogical manner. When I told him that humans don't follow the rules of logic when choosing a life partner, he asked me why you married me, since, as he said, 'it is not logical for a Vulcan to bond with a human'."

"And what was your reply?" Sarek asked, moving to sit opposite Amanda on the end of their bed.

She rose and walked over to sit beside him. "Well, first I reassured him that you didn't marry me for any diplomatic purpose having to do with Vulcan/Human relations. Then I told him that I married you because I love you, and finally, that he would have to speak with you about your reasons for bonding with me."

She reached for one of Sarek's hands, intertwining their fingers. "My husband, it's time you stop giving him that line about marrying me being the logical thing to do. He's a brilliant boy, and he obviously isn't buying that explanation any more. He deserves a better answer from you."

Lowering her eyes to their entwined fingers, she continued, "I've been thinking about Spock a great deal lately, and his query to me today solidified in my mind some concerns I've had about our interactions with him in the last several months. Will you hear me out, _adun_?

"Of course, my wife. Speak your mind."

"As you know, I agreed to raise Spock in the Vulcan way. I stood by and allowed him to be bonded to that snobby little brat T'Pring. I've kept silent all these years when you shamed him for the least display of emotion. But enough is enough."

"Do you have any idea how much that child admires you and how eager he is to please you in every way? When I see you being so cold to him because he hasn't lived up to your lofty expectations, it breaks my heart. You've practically got him convinced that Vulcans have no emotions and he'll never be good enough for you no matter what he does.

"If you have so little tolerance for human emotions, what am I doing here? Don't you see? The poor child is getting mixed messages from both of us. I'm telling him there is no shame in having emotions; the important thing is how we deal with them. You're telling him, in so many words, that emotions are unacceptable. No wonder he's feeling confused and trying to understand why you married me. There's a part of both of us in him, and he's trying to figure out who he is and how to reconcile the two halves of his nature."

Sarek gazed fondly at his wife. She was never more formidable, or more beautiful, than when her motherly instinct to protect her son was aroused.

Raising paired fingers, he caressed her cheek. "My wife, you know why I married you." Dropping his voice to the deep, honeyed tone that never failed to send shivers down her spine, he said softly, _"Taluhk nash-veh k'dular, aduna._ I cherish thee."

Sarek continued. "As to my dealings with Spock, I have tried to guide him toward the Vulcan way for a reason. I knew from the day of his birth that he would constantly be watched and judged by those around him, including my own family, to see if he could behave as a proper Vulcan child despite the human part of his nature. I knew that it would quite difficult for him to live up to those expectations. I wanted his path in life to go more smoothly than my own did as a child."

Amanda frowned. "Your path? What do mean, your path? Haven't you always been the family 'golden child' who could do no wrong - the one who was expected to carry on the family tradition of academic brilliance and diplomatic success?"

"Not precisely, _aduna_. Yes, I have carried the weight of those expectations on my shoulders all my life. But living up to those expectations was never an easy task for me."

He lowered his eyes to their intertwined fingers. "From a very early age, I struggled with mastery of my emotions. My father tolerated my lapses in emotional control when I was a small boy. After I successfully completed my _kahs'wan_, however, he expected me to maintain proper Vulcan decorum at all times. Despite my best efforts, I regularly failed to live up to his expectations. At those times my father made it clear to me that I was not the satisfactory Vulcan son he expected me to be."

Amanda shook her head. "Oh, for heaven's sake, Sarek, as far as I'm concerned, you're the very model of a proper Vulcan male. You obviously achieved mastery of your emotions at some point."

"I was 13.482 years of age before I succeeded in achieving a level of emotional mastery most Vulcan children have achieved by age of ten. That is precisely why I've been so strict with Spock when he experiences lapses of emotional control, Amanda. I did not want him to go through the struggles I went through as a boy. Unfortunately, my efforts have not been successful."

His wife's eyes glazed with tears. "Oh, sweetheart, by pushing him so hard to be a proper Vulcan boy, you're repeating in your relationship with him the same scenario you went through with your own father. If you could just ease up on him a little and make allowance for his human half, at least here at home, he _will_ find a way to integrate the two halves of his nature."

Sarek sighed, lifting both hands to cup his wife's face. Leaning forward, he softly kissed her. "Perhaps. I will try to be more tolerant with our son." His lips curved up slightly. "You are a woman of great wisdom, my wife."

She smiled up at him. "Well, where my son is concerned, maybe."

"Spock is fortunate to have such a mother," Sarek replied, "as I am to have such a wife."

Amanda extended paired fingers, smiling up at her husband. "I love you."

He settled paired fingers against hers, allowing her to feel through their bond what he would not, could not, express in words. Regarding her with a speculative gleam in his eyes, he asked softly, "Are you fatigued this evening, my wife?"

She smiled knowingly, running her hands up his chest. "Not _that_ fatigued."

Some time later, Spock approached his parents' bedroom intending to request permission for a talk with his father, and saw their door was closed. As he drew nearer, he could hear certain sounds emanating from the bedroom, sounds that bought an olive-green flush to his face and a most uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. Turning abruptly, he returned to his own room. His query to his father could wait until tomorrow.

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A/N: Thank you for reading this story. Would you please leave a review? Feedback, whether positive or negative, helps me to grow as a writer.


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